A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new …
Category Archives: General
VERY INTERESTING STUFF
In the 1400′s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ‘the rule of thumb’ Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled ‘Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden’.. .and thus, the word …
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate …
Go ahead and offend EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it. What do you …
An Elephant Never Forgets
WOW, If this doesn’t touch you, I don’t know what will! In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from NorthwesternUniversity. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. …
Calling in sick
We’ve all had trouble with our animals, but I don’t think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I’m lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the …
Irish Viagra
An elderly Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido. ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor. ‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’ ‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’ It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. …
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door …
Secret to Inner Peace
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice I heard on the Oprah show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Oz proclaimed, ‘The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you …
BBQ Rules. Men can cook if there is danger involved.
BBQ RULES It is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine…. (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) …
